Noah’s Arcore… and lo…

It rained for forty days and forty nights, and all that was on the earth perished and the BTP spread rose to 491, when a dove sent out by the senile Noah gave everyone to think he was going to hand over control of the ark to his acolyte, and the waters fell sharply, and there was great rejoicing.  But Noah was made of sterner stuff and in the Cloud he said no, there would be no resignation, and the waters immediately rose again, showing the gods displeasure at his obstinacy and stupidity in the face of disaster.

When Noah sent out another  emissary to sound the waters, it was patently obvious that Noah should hand over control to someone who could steer a boat, and everyone told him so, including all the animals on board which were very afraid given the state of waters.  But Noah was a stubborn old sod and said unto them.  ‘I am the only person who can steer an ark, and you can all go get stuffed’.  Perhaps tomorrow I might change my mind, but I know Im right, cos I always am’, and proceeded to recite ‘ The boy stood on the burning deck’

At this mindless bollocks, many of the animals decided to run away, and leave the headless chicken running in increasingly tight circles.   Noah, who was by now completely off his tiny rocker, thought of Mussolini and how he came to a pretty crap end, but was convinced that by chucking lots of money at the animals, they would save his ancient skin.  This time it seems that Noah is wrong, and the animals will finally bite the hand that feeds them, in the hope the waters will recede.